It is my favorite religious season on earth. 40+ days before Easter and 40+ days after to Pentecost.
For me it is the time when God is listening to my prayers and answering them, watching over me and protecting me, teaching me and helping me with others to understand what is going on in His world. He is always doing these things but during these days He is seemingly more present.
I had a tragic family life which left a great scar across my psyche, body and spirit. The loss of my father and a series of people near me or influential to me would have ended my life very early if it were not for my faith in Christ and His spiritual ability to find me and heal me over and make life worthwhile.
The lessons and practices and words of the Christian faith saved my life literally and cause great miracles to happen to help me flourish in the face of terrible evil. I have written poems, a book and painted paintings of my grief, damage, and fears which all helped. But there was nothing like following my faith, being baptised, participating in communion, receiving gifts of the Holy Spirit, listening to other Christians and especially pastors. All have helped to civilize me, settle me into the faith. But most of all is the immediate comfort of reading the Bible and prayer.
It is during this Holy season that all good Christians confess their sins in some way and ask for forgiveness, forgive others, and seek redemption from our Savior. Watching one of the mothers of one of the slain high school students in Ohio last week say she had already forgiven his killer. She said keeping that kind of anger and hatred in her heart wouldn't be good for her or honor her son. I was astonished at how quickly she could forgive. Then I remembered some of my horrible times when I realized in order just to get rid of the pain I would have to forgive my enemies. It always works. Nothing else is like it, no creative process or psychological therapy or psych meds provides the miracle of healing that forgiveness does.
And finally the whole process of living the story of Christ's Crucifixion and resurrection and ascension deepens my convictions of faith in our Father God, His Holy Son our Savior and Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit. There are wonderful movies now on DVD that help Christians to experience witnessing to our Lord and this time. There is the commercial movie of Peter and Paul, The Passion of the Christ, and the best one in my opinion, The Gospel According to John. I am also reading Bill McKibben's book, The Comforting Whirlwind, which has given me much insight into these times by referencing with the book of Job in the Old Testament in the Bible.
Without these deeper convictions of faith, I am certain I would either be dead or a total mess emotionally, full of trembling fears as we descend into this century and climate change, economic turmoil and as yet unknown epic disasters. These horrible late winter storms crossing our country I am sure would wake up the psychotic break I experienced as a 13 year old living in a small town in Northwest Missouri. Nighttime winter visions of huge tornadoes barreling down over the snow towards our home. I was reading Revelation and Daniel both in the Bible by myself without guidance. I felt the crack fear caused in my psyche and insomnia full of terrified watching out the windows in the middle of the night followed all winter. Then it was gone. I look at these storms and realize that I was receiving visions way back in 1961. Visions of destruction. I get them every once in awhile but now I know how to handle them. Now I can listen to pastors online telling me what I know and what to expect and what to do where before there was no one. I am what is called a Home Church. Paul started them 2,000 years ago. I am so thankful for my fellow Christians and their missions to spread the word. It does help me cope and bring some peace into my life as chaos ebbs and flows around me, around us as humans.
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